News Flash!

!!! Bigfoot Strikes !!!!

Sasquatch sited downtown at a New York City Mall. Witnesses reported that the alleged “Bigfoot’ became quite maddened when a Foot Locker sales man refused to sell him shoes when the credit card he gave came up lost. It was later learned that the lost card belonged to a hiker that has been missing for 3 years after going on a camping trip in Yellow Stone National Park. It had been thought that the hiker merely fell into Old Faithful on one of the tours. Police still will not confirm reports, but the said ‘Skunk Ape’ is wanted for questioning, for similar Foot Locker Scams. It is believed at this time that the hiker Bubba Skinner and the Yeti are in cahoots. However Bigfoot is also know as the walking carpet in his getto hood.

Witnesses describe him as being between 8 and 9 feet in height, that walked gracefully from the store to be in such a hurry, weighing in at about 500 pounds. He was last seen wearing a large black trench coat, cowboy hat, and barefooted. He is said to be a bit hairy, and carrying a box of Nikes. One woman is quoted as saying. “If he visits a Fantastic Sam’s for a wax job, he wouldn’t be half bad for New Yorker.” A comic book carrying kid is reported as saying. “Dude! That was no Bigfoot it was beast. I told ya’ll that the X-Men were real!” A good Samaritan tried to chase him down but lost him in a crowded subway station. Rescue workers were called onto the scene after several people passed out from the stank emitting from him, other then that no one was hurt. The picture above is the collaboration of several witnesses that the police came up with and released after they awoke several hours later in the hospital. If you know any more information or the whereabouts of Bubba Skinner and Bigfoot, you are urged to contact your local law enforcement. Check out the local news for more details as they unfold.

This is reporter Snooping Spidey, signing off. Good Night.